Stories Submitted

1. I had a single woman that was buying her first house. She had a mailing address that was like a Mailboxes, etc. service. She used this address to protect her privacy. The address was not a P.O. Box, but a street address with a unit number.

The underwriter did an address search to verify the borrower’s residence and determined that it was not a residential address. She required a letter of explanation from the borrower. The borrower wrote, "To whom it may concern: I do not live in my post office box."

2. My Senior Underwriter’s elderly mother is so proud of her daughter, that she tells all of her friends that her daughter is an under liner!

3. During an application interview, I once asked a lady if she had any liquid assets. She quickly responded, "Yes, I own 10 water shares in the Lehi Irrigation Company."

4. One of the more "unusual" sources of down payments I’ve had was the sale of a $75,000 comic book collection! Talk about hard to value and verify, but we did it.

5. I once had a client sell a parrot to come up with a down payment!

6. A client put "Department of Corrections" as his former employer, "Cabinet Maker" as his position, and left the previous employment income blank. When asked about it, he said they did not really pay him much, as he was an inmate, and had learned cabinet making as a trade while incarcerated. The underwriter asked me if he made any license plates while he was there so that we could put "metal worker" on his application too.

7. I produced a marketing flier template for my loan officers and posted it on our Internet. The template was in Word format so anyone could just type in their name and direct contact information, print and copy. A loan officer called me soon afterward to complain. "I downloaded the flier and I can’t use it," he told me in a not-so-nice tone of voice. "Why is that?" I asked. He explained in a manner that suggested I was an idiot, "…it doesn’t have MY name printed on it, it has YOUR NAME." Well, just to throw back a little attitude myself, I explained, "Here is how you fix it. Get a pen to write this down. Ready? OK, go down to the courthouse and legally change your name to YOUR NAME and presto, the flier works!" Silence, utter silence. Click.

8. A lady called into the office one day asking about different loan programs. She asked about "VHS" loans. She was very clear to say that this was the kind of loan she wanted. I asked if she wanted an "FHA" loan? She corrected me and said, "no, VHS". Needless to say, we closed her with an FHA loan and everything went fine. After closing, I followed up with her and we both got a good laugh. I explained that, if in the future she needed a "VHS or Beta" loan, I would be here for her.

9. Borrower stated: I have been on time with all my payments since I filed bankruptcy at the end of last month. Loan Officer responded: But we can’t help you because of the bankruptcy. Borrower stated: I don’t see why not; I can’t file for at least seven years. You’re protected.

10. I can remember when I started in the business in 1989, and would do house calls. It was about 8PM and pitch dark in a pretty rough neighborhood. I knocked on the door and told the woman I had an appointment with her husband at 8:15PM. I waited for about 30 minutes and finally figured out something! There where no address numbers on the home. They had fallen off! To my surprise, after watching Jeopardy on their TV for 30 minutes, I realized I was in the wrong house!!

CATEGORY: Stupid Moments We'd Like To Forget Answer: Not At This House! Question: Where Was My 8:15 appointment?

11. About 2 weeks ago, my loan coordinator called stating that one of my buyers had been terminated from his job two weeks before he made a loan application to refinance. I thought that this is odd but obviously it was a case of a common name, so I called him and he confirmed that yes, he had been terminated. As my mind is racing through several thoughts, he added, "Don’t you remember, you even asked me if I was off today and I told you yes I was." Now trying to keep my cool, I said, "But when I asked you how was work going, you said Great!" To which he added, "Well, it was great for 29 years. Is this going to make a difference," he asked, "because I never would have used you, if I thought that you would actually call and check up on me!" So the moral of this story is…we need to make loans but never really verify anything…ever!

12. How about the guy who worked on a chicken farm, and his VOE came back saying that his job description was "Breeding Technician"!
Makes for a pretty funny visual.

13. Several years ago, when I was a loan processor, I sent out a VOE (verification of Employment) on a borrower. She worked at a small manufacturing company and her boss (a male with limited type writing experience) filled out the VOE. Her position? Sexretary! (Not Secretary) That is exactly how he typed it! We got a great laugh at the office over that one! True Story!