Funny stories were found on cave walls! Even after all of these millions of years, these stories are being shared! Humor is "social". It’s meant to be shared…shared with your fellow loan officers, appraisers, title company reps, underwriters and yes, even real estate agents.
In this editorial we will "share" with you stories and quips for you to pass along. In fact, you might want to consider faxing or emailing to your "internal network". It is out of the ordinary and will set you apart from all the other loan officers out there.
We received many stories AFTER the contest deadline that did not make our contest but are very funny. Here is one submitted by Buzz Eacho, Essex First Mortgage which can be shared with your title reps and closing attorneys.
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I recently had a call from an attorney the day of closing. There was a problem with the title because a deceased aunt had a "title interest" in the property that the borrower was purchasing from the "estate". I called the borrower and informed him that we would need proof of death. He called back, said that he had the documentation and would bring it to closing to clear up the problem. The attorney called back and informed me that the borrower showed up to close with a Polaroid picture of this aunt’s tombstone.
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With appraisals taking an extraordinary amount of time to complete these days, you might want to use the following appraisal to submit to your appraisers! Hey, you might even want to include it in your underwriting package! More appraisal jokes can be found at www.appraisaltoday.com.
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NEW IMPROVED SPEEDY APPRAISAL FORM
Customer Name:__________________________
Subject Property:__________________________
Description of subject property and neighborhood:
Subject property is location in________________, a popular, well-maintained area that has enjoyed dramatic appreciation over the past year. Most buyers appeared to be unconcerned with size and over all utility of these homes and seem to be paying between $________and $_________, regardless of difference in appearance, condition, age, etc.
Market Value Assessment
For the above reasons, we estimate the Market Value of the subject property on this date to be $______________ (fill in the blanks with the assistance of a real estate agent!)
I certify that I have not inspected, driven by, or even thought about the property that is subject of this appraisal. I also promise that I will not interfere in any way with the expedient funding of this obviously worthy property.
Signature:___________________Date:__________
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Here are some one-liners to share with Realtors and Builders!
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The buyer told me that he lived in the same house for 10 years. When I checked
(his residency), he’d still be there today if the Governor had not pardoned him.
The sellers told me the house was near the water! It was in the basement.
Seller to listing agent: "I have a temporary mortgage." "What do you mean temporary?" "Until they foreclose!"
Realtor Sign (Developer too) "We have LOTS to be thankful for."
"I just listed a maintenance free home". In the last 25 years, there hasn’t been any maintenance.
If you want to know where the property line is, just watch the neighbors cut the grass.
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Winners--LoanOfficerMagazine.com Humor Contest
Thanks for taking the time to vote for the funny mortgage stories published in the March 5, 2003 issue. The first place winner is Chris Snydal of Boulder Funding, Boulder,CO.with this story. Chris won a Consumer Direct Marketing Kit ($395.00 value) with free coaching. (www.consumer-direct-marketing.com)
I had a single woman buying her first house. She had a mailing address that was similar to a Mailboxes Etc. service. She used this address to protect her privacy. The address was not a P. O. Box, but a street address with a unit number. The underwriter did an address search to verify the borrower’s residence and determined that it was not a residential address. She required a letter of explanation from the borrower. The borrower wrote, "To Whom It May Concern: I do not live in my post office box."
The second place winner is David Presnell, Affordable Home Funding in Tampa, Florida. He has won a free online seminar ($149.00 value) offered by www.LoanOfficerSeminars.com.
A client put "Department of Corrections" as his former employer, "Cabinet Maker" as his position, and left the previous employment blank. When asked about it, he said they did not really pay him much as he was an INMATE, but he had learned cabinet making as a trade while incarcerated. The underwriter asked me if he was a "metal worker" too—and if he makes license plates as well!
We hope to have added a little humor to your day! We encourage you to submit funny stories that we will publish from time to time and thanks to all of you who shared your stories with us.
Karen Deis
Laughing My Guts Out!
Copyright, 2003, LoanOfficerMagazine.com
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