Written By: Karen Deis
With the onslaught of holiday parties, have you ever made the decision not to attend because you don't know anyone? Or, you attend and stand in the corner (with a small group of friends) for the entire evening?
People admire individuals who seem to walk into a room and immediately start a conversation with others they have never met. People say they have the "gift of gab" or they are "working the room".
Is it a natural ability? Or is it an acquired skill? Dr. Bernardo Carducci, Professor of Psychology at Indiana University, emphatically says it can be learned and perfected if you follow some simple rules.
Introduce yourself early in the conversation.
Have a brief explanation or short story about what you do for a living.
Don't be afraid to ask again for a person's name if you have forgotten it.
Repeat the person's name and use several times during your conversation.
Introduce yourself to others who join your conversation.
Make a statement and ask questions.
After introductions, a statement like "I have just seen this great movie. Have you seen it?" Or, "I really like that watch you are wearing. Where did you get it?", are great conversation starters.
Do not (I repeat, do not) try to "sell" anything. A conversation STOPPER statement would be, "I'm in the mortgage business and if you know of anyone who needs a mortgage, please have them call me."
It's ok to ask for their business card and send a follow up note afterwards - but small talk is not about selling - it's about building relationships.
Copyright, 2004 LoanOfficerMagazine.com
